Momma Life

Your Identity as a MOM

You will always be a mom, and that’s something to be proud of. What else makes you, you?

Your Identity is defined simply by the act of being a “mom”, and all too often by the actions of your little human being. 

The identity you once built, the one where only you were accountable for your own actions, has now completely changed. Now that adorable new baby boy or girl defines you as a person. So how do we find the balance between being that amazing mom to our kids while still having an Identity that makes us feel like our own person?

 


The Land of Nod, design for kids and people that used to be kids

Your Identity as a MOM

I wanted to start a family. I wanted to be a mom and having a baby would get me that “picture perfect”…

At one point in time, I thought I had everything figured out, the exact identity I wanted in life.

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What I never considered was the identity I had built and was still trying to sort out, was about to change once our little girl came into the world. I believe I’ve become a better person, becoming a mom has helped me grow and build qualities on a much deeper level than before. However, my individuality felt nonexistent.

This part of motherhood is interesting. Ironic in fact. I wanted to “become” a mom, feeling like that was what I was meant to be. I’ve always had a strong maternal desire. Then I gave birth and months later I realize I wanted to be my own person again, just for a day or two! These feelings made me feel so incredibly guilty!

But I need to be known for more than just being baby girl’s MOM.

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LIFE AFTER BABY

Baby Crib

Who We are to our Family… Matters.

We are mom’s, wives, teachers, trainers, cleaners, nurses, you name it, we are anything and everything to fill a role so unique to our families. And admittedly we cannot skip out on these responsibilities majority of the time, nor would we want to.

We enjoy taking care of our families, all 30 days of each month, 365 days a year.  But ask yourself if it’s possible to take 1 day, just 1 day a month to take care of yourself? In my case, I decided it was necessary.

I am a better person to them if I have a clear identity as an individual. I want my daughter to grow up having a strong personality, one who is determined and knows exactly what she wants. I don’t want her to wallow in insecurities. How can I expect her to become such a woman if her own role model at home is lost in being everything to everyone, lost with who she is as a person? So it’s time to reconnect with myself, what makes me, me? What makes you, you?

Baby Registry

What does a “Day for Yourself” look like?

What my day looks like: it’s caffeine in the mornings, chai in the afternoons and wine in the evenings. (I like to drink 85% of my calories, for better or for worse). It’s a day near water, sitting on the sidelines with paper and a pen. It’s sushi freshly made with a ton of wasabi and a kumbucha on the side. It’s country music on the radio and a long drive singing along. It’s a romantic comedy playing while I’m dancing in the kitchen and baking a pie.

This is my day, what makes me happy. Small, simple things making up a day when I’m only caring for myself.

You will always be a mom, and that’s something to be proud of. What else makes you, you?

Find a New Hobby or Experience

Pinterest anyone? If I need an escape, I’ll often find something in the house I want to “better” and then it’s off to the craft store to make it happen. DIY is a friend of mine and it’s so fun to see my PINs and imagination come to life, creating something completely new and unique.

Finding a new hobby or something to immerse ourselves in might be easier for some than for others. Some of my mom friends are not naturally “crafters” and so finding a hobby can be more challenging. Does that mean you are a lost cause and you will never find something to enjoy, something just for yourself? No. You need to think outside the box.

Do you enjoy reading, movies, binge watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, shopping, exploring antique stores, or going for long walks? Creativity doesn’t have to start and stop with craft projects. But finding something you can put your heart into will give you something to look forward to every month, something completely your own and that you’re not required to share.

What about a new experience? How about writing a book? Have you tried painting before, photography, building something, or gardening? If any of these things are new experiences, don’t write them off! Get excited about new opportunities, they are endless and you can become the expert if you put your mind to it.

Word of caution, don’t choose a cleaning project or something to organize. This isn’t a time to use to continue being super mom, it’s a time to be yourself and to be a little selfish. 

Share your free time with your Close Friends, Kid Free

If you are fortunate enough to have a kid free evening on top of a kid free day, pinch yourself and then don’t ask any more questions! Now after a day by myself and enjoying the little things that keep me content, along comes the evening, and it’s time to call up close friends. 

For a more realistic approach, you might get a day here and a night there without the littles, but the idea is the same. So how will you spend your night off?

Sure you want peace and quiet when you don’t have your loud kids around and if that’s how you want to spend your day and night without them, all the more power to you! But isn’t there something so therapeutic about spending time with friends who are considered family?

Land Of Nod: Design for Kids and People That Used to be Kids

You will always feel refreshed if you choose your friends wisely, as in the ones who make you laugh when you need to and let you cry when you need to. Call up those friends and spend time together without the kids. Girls night out anyone? If you plan a night out, buy a new outfit for it! Clearance rack ladies and find something new and fun to wear.

You can be creative in your thinking, realizing that a date with yourself might be one of the most important dates of all time.

So put some thought into it. Add in your favorite foods, your favorite places in town, buy yourself flowers and chocolate and pour yourself that second glass of wine. You will return home to your family so refreshed and charged for next month of all out “mommy-ing”, and you will be loved that much more for your new found energy.

Beautiful Nursery Furniture

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8 thoughts on “Your Identity as a MOM

  1. I can relate to every word said here. Motherhood is overwhelming at times. I loved being a mother when my daughter was born and then it got to me. It took me a while, but I was glad to have found myself again. You do not need to forget yourself just because you have become a mother. And yes, meeting friends is definitely therapeutic. That’s probably how I got this far. 🙂

  2. I loved reading about your day for yourself. You made it so live and vivid! Mine would look different, but still somehow I could really relate to yours.

  3. It’s so important to find balance. Important…but not easy! I love being a mom, but with a 3 and 1 year old, I’m still striving to find “me” time outside of my daily responsibilities!

  4. I definitely need to work on the time with friends KID FREE thing! I don’t do this very often at all. But, it really is important!

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